At the edge of the world

Just returned from a 3 week trip to Europe. Feel so far from civilisation again, here at the bottom end of the tip of Africa. Feel so isolated. Homeless at home. I don't belong here - I agree with those Black and Coloured fellow South Africans that used to say - and some still do say - Africa for the Africans but I don't belong in Europe either. Even white Afrikaners have this as their home. English speaking white South Africans? What about us? I have no sense of a national identity - I am neither a patriot nor a traitor to this country. I am indifferent. My family is my country. The (Roman Catholic) Church has my loyalty. But a nation? What is it to be patriotic?