Truth and Love

In an earlier post, I distinguished between what I saw as the difference between a happy and a life of meaning. I guess that what I was trying to say is that I feel such a sense of urgency about my life and such responsibility for the gift and privilege that it is that I don't want to waste it. Not because God will call me to account, but because I will be ashamed if I do and have to face Him empty handed. I can be such a contradiction in the sense that I seek truth and seek to communicate it because I am paranoid that if I am to communicate love, it must not be something vacuous, but Love in the fullest, most profound Christian sense. The trouble is that I feel I am approaching an understanding of what it is not and even occassional glimpses of what it is. But it has not made me more loving. And is that not the point?