Yesterday morning, we recieved confirmation of our visa and will fly to Aus Monday 3rd August to begin our new life there. While we had been waiting for the visa, I had begun to really loathe this country and the myriad of hoops one has to jump through to get out of here. Now that we have our visa, my feeling towards this country and continent is just one of indifference, but the very personal loss with regards to the people that we will leave behind began to dawn on me. Some we will not see again in this life. I don't know who said it but it was to the effect that in this life, neither pure joy or pure sadness is possible and again I have experienced this to be true. Perhaps some would say it sounds like I always manage to find a cloud in any silver lining, but I am not an eeyore in normal life. It just takes me longer to 'get' these things than most. Often the 2 sides of the coin are inseperable: I am so excited to begin our new life, but am so dreading the personal cost which is unavoidable. The idea is somewhat absurd, I know, as we embark on this journey so many before us have made, and so many others throughout the world make every day, but I can't help but feel like an adventurer on a voyage of discovery, ready to face the vast unknown, the salt thick in my hair:
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the wind in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
And yet, at the same time, I pray the Breton fisherman's prayer:
O God, be good to us. The sea is so great and our boat is so small."
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