First kiss

In this cynical wider society, that now, in general, doesn't seem to think it a big deal for unmarried couples to sleep together, that loss of innocence saddens me. I can't help but wonder if a young teen's first kiss actually means anything anymore. We were lucky enough to be part of a close group (about half a dozen or so of us couples) who happened to be friends and of various Christian denominations who did wait. (No we were not a home cell or prayer group). As a consequence - and maybe I am wrong here, but I feel it is a direct consequence of that decision - the other moments along the various steps that comprise the levels of physical intimacy meant a lot more to me and I treasure them to this day.

The first time I ever kissed a girl was at the Wimpy in St George's Mall in Cape Town. A friend of mine and a friend of hers went there for a milkshake after school on her birthday. My buddy and I had planned the whole thing. I had saved enough money from my weekend job at an ice-cream parlour to buy her an expensive bottle of perfume. Well ‘expensive’ is a relative term, I guess. Anyway. We sat down, ordered the drinks and after 10 minutes or so, on cue, my friend and her friend whom he had prepped, excused themselves - ostensibly to go to the bathroom. I remember my heart pounding like a freight train, making it difficult for me to breathe. I handed her the present and almost chickened out of kissing her Happy Birthday, but she mouthed thank you, leaned forward across the table and we kissed. I remember feeling kind of dizzy and weird. Like when I once shocked myself while changing a live lamp wire – lameness from electricity running through my entire body. The song playing in the background that day was ‘Deep River Women’ by Lionel Ritchie. Don’t ask me why I remember that silly detail! Hearing it now always evokes that moment 22 years ago. When we left that restaurant, I don’t think I came back to earth for days. I never kissed that girl again, and life took us in different directions. I find it funny though, how the body responds to memories. The same tightening in the stomach. The same elevated heartbeat. The inevitable, involuntary smile.